Sunday, April 18, 2010

New Production Robotoy: Battlecry Episode 2

Wait, WHAT? No, this isn't some ancient SMT localization, it's Round 2 of Paper Funnels 64's 4Kids-flavored redo of Evangelion!

      EPISODE 02
      Episode Summary: Shaun Indigo moves in with his new guardian, Melissa Cassidy, and beings to attend school.  Suddenly, the Second Monster attacks, and his classmates are put in danger! 

      “So, they've brought out the Monsters. Disaster always strikes without warning, eh?”
      In the darkness, Gary Indigo observed his board of financial advisers. It was rare that the company president spoke, for their role was to discreetly discuss the current situation of the company and how to allocate funds. Therefor, he only moved when their actions contradicted his goals.
      “It's fortunate. If they hadn't, our stocks would have dropped.”
      “We shouldn't be making such unsafe bets. Think of what our children will learn from us.”
      “Toy Type-1 and the Monsters are now public knowledge. We'll all have quite a time handling this.”
      “It's already taken care of,” Gary assured them, “Relax.”
      “Can't we get that pilot to use Toy more efficiently?”
      “The repair costs after that last battle were quite heavy. Debt is a bad thing.”
      “I heard you gave that it to your son.”
      At this, Gary's eyebrow arched. Disrespect was not something a respectable company president tolerated.
      “Time and money are of utmost importance here, Indigo. We must not be wasteful. Moreover, what of the Complementary Project? Shouldn't that take priority?”
      “I agree.” Kyle Lawrence stared him down from across the room; having founded the company together, he was perhaps the only one who could directly oppose Indigo, “Though the Monsters are an issue, the Complementary Paroject should take priority. We'll balance the budget accordingly.”
      “This meeting is over.” Gary commanded, the others fading into the darkness.
      “Indigo.” Kyle nodded to him, “We can't turn back now.”
 “I'm aware. We've no time.”


      “President Indigo is having you move in with me.” Melissa explained as Neo Yark's towers rose up, the sunlight pouring in against their windowpanes, flecks of gold washing over the steel, “He thinks it'll be good for you, living in a city like this.”
      “Yeah right. He just wants me to fight.”
      “Pacifism never helped anybody, Shaun. You're a hero, protecting Neo Yark.”
      Shaun paused, contemplating this as the buildings slid into place. Maybe she was right. Maybe pacifists really were useless.
      “This beautiful.” He commented absently, careful to not lean against the railing— that would be dangerous.
      Yet despite its beauty, Shaun felt sullen as Melissa brought him to her apartment.
      “Pardon my intrusion.”
      “Hey, this is your house too!”
      “Oh. I'm home!”
      Melissa's home was hardly anything to envy. It was in need of cleaning, and as far as he could tell she kept it stocked with absolutely nothing but unhealthy snacks and...
      “You shouldn't drink so much canned water.” Shaun remarked as he stared into the abyss of the fridge, “You'll get overhydrated.”
      “Don't worry about it. Just get ready for dinner, okay?”
      If Shaun's first experience at a Cassidy dinner was anything to go by, there had to be a Panda Express nearby. Melissa unpacked the groceries to yield a lifetime's supply of cheap Chinese dishes, and the moment he sat at the table Shaun found himself being treated to Melissa's water-chugging capabilities and a high-pitched squeal of ravenous delight.
      Melissa was forced to stop her gluttony on account of her guest's sullen demeanor.
      “Eh? Shaun, what's wrong? Do you not like Chinese?”
      “No, such an economy, don't you think we shouldn't rely on foreign imports--”
      “Don't be dumb, Shaun. We're consumers. And consumers eat!”
      “'Sure, yeah, okay, yes ma'am''re so boring!” Melissa launched herself across the table, violently grabbing Shaun's head, “Pull it together, act like a man!”
      “Oh, go take a bath and wash away your okay-ness.”
      Obediently, Shaun set himself to the bathroom. As a general rule, he wore swimming trunks while bathing; to do otherwise would be indecent.
      And upon sliding the door back Shaun promptly whirled on his heel, bounding out back to the dining room.
      “Th...the...ther...there's a...”
      Calmly, the flightless, scarlet-crested creature waddled past him.
      “Oh, him? Don't worry, I have a PhD in marine biology.”
      Regarding him with placid stare, the penguin quietly stepped inside the fridge to the pleasant quiet of its home.
      “His name is Boney. He's my pet.”

      Shaun's gaze wandered as the teacher continued to talk of dinosaurs, meteors and other things he'd outgrown long ago. Rachel was still in bandages, but was apparently well enough to attend classes, though equally bored with the lecture. His class was small, but Shaun didn't exactly mind.
      His eyes were pulled forward again as a message appeared on his screen. It was written in Chinese, but luckily he could read it fluently.
      Grateful that it was not written in text speak, Shaun depressed the Y key. At once the classroom broke into an uproar, girls crowding around to excitedly ask what the Toy Type-1's ultimate attack was.
      Shaun didn't like these girls. They had cooties. 
      Shaun recoiled to the ground, groaning as the dust fluttered up around his fallen body.
      “Just gimme ya lunch mohneyz up frahnt next time!” The black student demanded, grinding his knuckles against his palm.
      “Solly about that.” His Chinese cohort apologized as the boy stomped off, “He cahn be  rear burry sometimes, ya know? Just stand up to him!”
      Yeah right. Shaun snarled silently as he lay on the ground; and suddenly a shadow obscured him. Following it up, he found Rachel Anderson looming over him.
      “Another Monster has appeared.” 
      “We've located the target!”
      “All hands, prepare for battle!” The Vice President was a rather proud old man, who, when he wasn't playing chess, was preparing for honorable combat with monsters.
      “Roger! Neo Yark, entering battle mode!”
      The city was at once alive with the sounds of warning klaxons and the rapid retreat of buildings into the ground below.
      “All departments have been made aware of the Monster's presence.”
      “What's the status of the civilians?” Melissa inquired.
      “The evacuation is complete ma'am!”
      And all in good time at that, as it was then that the Monster's rubbery pink form hovered into Neo Yark's harbor.
      “The Fourth Monster appears right when the President is out on business. Nice timing.” Melissa grumbled.
      “The last one took fifteen years to appear, and this one only gives us three weeks?”
      “Well, they are Monsters. They don't exactly have any manners.”
      A barrage of lasers did little to deter the Fourth as it continued its flying tour of Neo Yark, brilliant orange spheres blossoming where they contacted its forcefield.
      “A waste of effort.” The VP chuckled.
      “The board of advisers is requesting we deploy the Battletoy!” In times where the President was absent, the board was in charge.
      “Like we need their permission! Deploy Shaun immediately.”
      With soft mechanical whirr, Shaun's cockpit block was injected into the Toy, the purple titan sealing up.
      My father's not here, Shaun contemplated as the alkaline's color melted away into translucence, Will we be all right? And what should I do about that bully...
      “Shaun, it's time to launch.” Melissa's voice interrupted his reflections on the angry black kid.
      “Yes ma'am!”
      “All right!” Rita sounded quite excited today, “Neutralize the Monster's forcefield and fire away just like we practiced! Are you ready?”
      Once again in a bolt of blue lightning Toy Type-1 was brought to Neo Yark's surface, the Fourth Monster rising up into a standing position.
      Swiftly Shaun wheeled around the protective launch cage's wall, depressing the trigger and sending an eruption of lasers into the Fourth's airspace, smoke coiling up from the Monster's undamaged form.
      “You're hiding them with your own lasers!” Melissa exclaimed in a panic.
      The Monster's arms lashed out, snapping a nearby building in two and sending the Type-1 to meet with the pavement.
      “We're sending you a second laser, hurry up and grab it!”
      Shaun was heaving, fingers trembling nervously against the triggers.
      “Shaun! Shaun!”
      He didn't want to play anymore.
      “Hurry up!”
      He really didn't want to play anymore. 
      The Fourth towered over him, its shadow long in the blazing sun. Shaun scrambled backward, barely getting the Type-1 out of the way as the Monster lashed out, toppling buildings in its rampage.
      “The power cord has been severed!” A timer began to count down, the seconds draining away far more quickly than Shaun would have ever liked.
      As the Type-1 finally rose to its feet, the Fourth grabbed hold of it, twirling it through the air and sending it crashing into a distant hill, the heavy toy sinking violently into the earth.
      “Shaun, are you all right?! Shaun!”
      Shaun forced himself to open his eyes, rising into a sitting position— and finding the toy boys from earlier lodged between Type-1's fingers. 
      “They're Shaun's classmates!” Melissa realized in a moment of horror.
      “Why are they there?!” Rita remarked disgustedly.
      Shaun brought the Type-1's hands up to grab at the Fourth's laser arms, doing all he could to keep them away from the endangered children.
      “Type-1, active time remaining, three minutes, twenty-eight seconds!”
      “Shaun! Let them into the cockpit!” Melissa ordered. At this rate, Type-1 would run out of power before Shaun could retaliate.
      Shaun obeyed, the cockpit block sliding out to admit the teens.
      “W-wat?! There's WATAH in here?!”
      “Ohhh mai preshious camaraa!”
      Abruptly the lights came back on as the cockpit block reentered the Type-1, Shaun ignoring his accented peers in favor of the imminent, sending-to-another-dimension threat.
      “Involving foreign bodies is causing the graphs to reverse...” Rita moaned depressingly. 
      Mustering all his strength, Shaun threw the Fourth Monster back.
      “Now, finish it!” Melissa commanded.
      Swiftly, the Type-1's shoulder unveiled to reveal a knife, wasting no time in drawing it. Shaun paused, a silent stare of seething anger confronting his opponent.
      The countdown hit 1:00.
      “ULTIMAAAAAAAATE!” Shaun roared, Type-1 skating down the hillside to face the Fourth even as it pierced him, “FIIIIIIINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!”
      Type-1 jousted its knife upward, sparks blazing off the slender weapon as it dove into the Monster's core.
      “Thirty seconds remaining!”
      The core finally cracked, the Fourth falling silent as Type-1's eyes darkened.
      For however brief a time before Nerve retrieved them, the citizens of Neo Yark could bear witness to the purple giant standing tall and battle-ready, its knife lodged deep in the silhouette of the Fourth Monster.

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