Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Let's Play Zoids Legacy! Chapter 7A

When last we left our heroes, they were deadlocked on the eve of BLOX Zoids combiner testing for the better part of a year due to summer job/parental fuckery on Terminal's end.

Today's episode: plot-lock in the midst of same!


Attempting to leave town prompts an event.


Can we do a gattai joke?
No.
To hell with gattai!
*flips through Zeru script* Apparently we *can* do a gattai joke... so go on about BLOXes.







There is a very involved discussion of the Team position commands that we've been using all along, as well as how BLOX Zoids work.
Noticeably, the discussion is missing much of the usual horrible dialogue, so we've skipped over it.
You get the Fuzor Dragon Gattai deck command, too.
This is what they called the Matrix Dragon in this game, for some reason.
Admittedly, while the name is wrong, it's at least *accurate*.
True, it *does* lack The Touch, as we'll see/demonstrate later.
Once we've skipped town, we're dragged to the desert.




up for automatic mode.


Rumble! You've turned on Rumble!
Please tell us this isn't the Aquarion kind of Gattai.
Rated E For Everyone in the style of Metal Gear: Ghost Babel!



"You'll start to feel really go-"
For all our sakes, cram the cookie-cutter H-manga dialogue.


(MMX4 Zero) It's not over yet!
(MGS1 Liquid Snake) It's not over yet!
(MPatHG Peasant) GET ON WITH IT!



New characters! Here to sell toys! Probably better than you, too!
Sometimes I wonder if back home would've been more tolerable if you'd embraced the TakaraTomy side of the Force before shit went south. Then I remember they don't stock the kind of toys advertised back home at Walmart.


Albane bravely defaulting to the heroic stratagem of "They Hit Us First."
Worked well so far for us, hasn't it?
I'm down one Juno and you're down one soul; I'd call it 50/50.


It's Rie Tanaka! Shoot to kill!
Bullshit! You're just trying to get rid of every other pink-haired girl in this joint!
Hold your fire, Aelita. That can't possibly be Lacus Clyne; she hasn't hit Super Critical Tension out of the gate yet.




Only until you turn them upside down.
That only works in X formations.


Dude, the Leoblaze is the only one going out to sniff your butts.
But it's the Nightwise that's on auto...what is Zan playing at?
Furmanism! Two drinks!


As opposed to, say, Guardian Force?
Or G-Force.
Or Force Five.
To say nothing about how wrong allegations of similarity to Superior Defender Gundam Force would be.



And he's Steve Harvey! Let's play the Feud!




TSK, FOR GOD'S SAKE!


apfffff
what.
I, what? No!




ohgodmakeitstop



hwaaaaaaaaaah
(LP= 8000 → 0000)



This would be a lot more impressive if it weren't so TERRIBLE. And PURPLE.




asdf



This one is not actually any better but it does look a lot cooler.


Oh no, the plot device is doing something!
SOMEONE in-code has to retch at the script, may as well be the one contributing the least to it.



ffffffffff


This is definitely not where I parked my Gustav.



THEN STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH FUZORS.



I don't remember hearing a loud "YOINK" in that last flash-bang, though.




Actually I'm pretty sure it's that you both went ahead and used Fuzors when they keep fucking everything up.




Let's... just... work out where we are, and then *leave*.



Fuck you, Zan, we already went through the trouble of printing a world map we haven't explored but...fifteen percent of so far. We can't budget goddamn Zoids Sliders.
Zoids Sliders, eh? Maybe if we put sauteed onions on the underside-
Are you hungry or just possessed of shitty taste in science fiction?
She gives scriptural credence to the Parasite Eve series. That answer your question?



Thank y-



Mother fucker.



Then why aren't I laughing?


As a time out from Wyll's griping, Zan actually defaults to the 'Evasion' growth type, which is all over the whole 'prediction' thing. It's doubtful this was intentional.



Moving on...



From here, we're automatically moved to the nearby town.


Welcome to Imperial Twn!
You mean 'town'?
It hurts to say 'twn'.


I'm pretty sure that's, like, racist.
There is no good way to actually interpret what goes on here. Zeru makes a ridiculous leap of logic that this is OBVIOUSLY a town from the time when the Empire was at war with the Republic (Chaotic Century, NJR Battle Story, what have you), and EVERYONE JUST GOES WITH IT.


Let's exploring!
Staying low, of course.
Hard to consider it getting lower than this.
I could fetch my Hamdraxe...

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